Written by Olivia Britz

I never thought of myself as someone who had hangovers…in fact, I carried this with great pride after many a night of drinking too much and waking up the next day able to function feel good and do the needful. I still believe this is true albeit that I now think my body must have been soaked in alcohol.

As I write this please believe me that I’m not ready to give up alcohol entirely. I never made this my goal. I am working on building a healthy relationship with alcohol. My drink…my darling.

It’s been almost two weeks of discipline and dedication. Of choices each and every day when I walk into the house from work to not go pour a drink immediately and more so sometimes not at all. To fill those alcohol moments with another friend…for now, it’s my books. I simply read more.

Today…another Sunday I feel something new. Clarity. I don’t have to worry if I drank too much because I know I didn’t…for days now I have not. I don’t have to worry if I said something wrong…by mistake or on purpose. I am clear about yesterday. The day before and days before. I am safe. I don’t have to feel bad about forgotten moments or conversations.

And that for me is remarkable today. I have been thoroughly present and it’s growing on me. So little by little I will take my control back. And smile because I feel so good about myself. For today.

Thank you to my person Silvinia for the support 🙏 and encouragement

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